Spam-based scams are getting stranger. Yesterday, I received a message in Portuguese inviting me to join the Order of the Knights Templar. My name, they claim, was given to them by a member of the Order, which is remarkable given that I only know about four people in Brazil (it appears to be the Brazilian branch of the Templars who have selected me for this remarkable honor) and I didn't think that any of them were Templars. To be honest, I thought my acquaintances were all leftist radicals, so either the Templars have been infiltrated by the left, or the left has been infiltrated by the Templars. Possibly both.

Meanwhile, my partner has been selected to receive $630,000 from the Mithras Association, who begin their message with a stirring Zorastrianism Greetings!. Seemingly, she was selected in secret conclave by the Abrahadabara Forums who felt that she would be able to spend the money wisely:

... to ensure the continuous freedom of man's faith and co-enhance living conditions under the Shadow of the Sun.

It seems to have been her week for it, actually. Only the day before, the <name of the college she attended> Society of Colchester under the jurisdiction of the Eye of Providence also selected her — after a series of secret deliberations, once again — to receive Four Hundred and Thrity [sic] British pound sterlings. Curiously, the objectives of the <name of the college she attended> are remarkably similar to those of the Mithraists, namely:

... to ensure the continuous freedom of man's faith and to enhance living conditions.

Perhaps the most interesting part of all this to me is that they say:

... also we will go further to inform that the open slot to become a <name of the college she attended, incorrectly spelled> is optional, you can decline the offer

I've never known anyone who became a <name of the college she attended, incorrectly spelled>, so this is enormously exciting. I have urged her to write to the Grand Lodge Office co-Supervisor at once.

As a student of spam, of course, I'm also intrigued by the fact that this last attempt did appear to be vaguely targeted, in that it was sent to her old college email address, and specifically mentioned that college by name (repeatedly). The senders seem to have a rather vague notion of what the institution actually stands for — I think they suspect that it's something between an esoteric order and a benevolent society, rather than a run-of-the-mill center of higher learning — but nonetheless this is the first genuine attempt at spear phishing that I've actually seen in the wild. The senders can hardly be blamed if their spear is a little blunt (although they do owe it to themselves to learn how to spell society properly).

The real question in my mind is, how come she gets all the offers of money, whereas I just get invited to join some bunch of knights with no mention of any secret deliberations or cash prizes? There'll probably be membership dues to pay and, no doubt, stabling and armorer's fees on top. Some people have all the luck.